"Suicide is a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them"
The pejorative, disrespectful, and ignorant statements that we are assaulted with concerning suicide angels are in abundance…and are disquieting to cope with on a daily basis.
You’ve heard them many times, statements about suicide being “a sin,” “a crime,” “an act of self-murder,” etc. Well, let me address one more ignorant statement – that suicide is a “selfish” act.
Suicide is a desperate act by someone who is in intense pain and wants their pain to stop. That is a HUMAN response to extreme pain, not a selfish one. And over 90 percent of the people who die by suicide have a mental illness at the time of their death, so they are not thinking clearly.
Saying that a person who had severe clinical depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or a similar illness was engaging in an act of selfishness when they died by suicide – even though their thought process, mood, and judgment were greatly affected by their mental illness – is not only inaccurate, but downright cruel, to both the suicide angel and the suicide survivors.
And those who use the word “selfish” are merely helping perpetuate the STIGMA associated with suicide.
A suicidal action that manifests from intense, excruciating, unbearable pain associated with a serious mental illness has nothing to do with selfishness. Period.
"A suicidal action that manifests from intense, excruciating, unbearable pain ASSOCIATED with a serious mental illness has nothing to do with selfishness. Period"
I 100%, brokenheartedly agree with this statement.
I would also like to point out another side though:
Even if the suicide is not associated with “serious mental illness” it is NOT selfish. People commit suicide for a variety of reasons- mental illness is just one of them.
Mental illness increases the risk of death by suicide, but multiple factors play a part in this tragic equation.
There are physical factors, family history factors, environmental factors and many, many more. It is unfair to the survivors of loved ones suicides to only “vindicate’ or “allow/forgive” suicide when accompanied by “serious mental illness”.
Suicide is a complex and tragic result of a host issues. NONE OF THEM ARE SELFISH.
*** It is important to note that the large majority of people with mental disorders or other suicide risk factors do not engage in suicidal behavior***
Anyone out there who has suffered the soul crushing, life changing, excruciating, immeasurable loss of suicide, there is help available.
You are NOT alone
If you have lost a sibling, child, parent, spouse, partner, uncle, aunt, cousin, friend….anyone to suicide, there is help and there is healing available.
I lost my brother to suicide.
I know the confusion, pain, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, hopelessness and everything else that goes with death by suicide.
(I also lost another sibling and my parent to non suicide deaths and I know these griefs are VERY different in nature. The process for grieving and healing is very different.)
There are numerous groups out there that deal with loss and death related to a myriad of causes and diseases, but it can be daunting to find a group solely dedicated to the unique grief and mourning associated with suicide.
No judgement or stigma.
These groups can help:
www.suicidememorialwall.com (memorial wall)
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/SOLOS-sibs/ (sibling survivor group -if the link doesn’t work, the name of the group is SOLOS Sibs)
http://www.pos-ffos.com/ (parent survivor group)
http://www.suicidegrief.com/ (sons/daughters, siblings, parents, spouse/partner, aunts/uncles, cousins, friends, murder-suicide, a forum for many groups)
http://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/dd.htm (Native American and Canadian Aboriginal survivors)
http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com/beyond_surviving.shtml (support, knowledge and forums)
You are NOT alone. There are millions of us who have walked this journey and continue to walk it everyday.
If you are in crisis, suicidal or need someone to talk to:
These are US numbers
For Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and People with Speech Disabilities who use a TTY, call
Add this number to your contact list and encourage everyone you know to do the same.
Call them if you need help, hope or someone to listen.
You don’t have to die - there is help and it’s waiting for you….PLEASE reach out and let someone know.
Hey everybody! Now that I have graduated from school (where did the time go, seriously) I am going to bring this blog back to life.
How is everyone?!
This is a great blog! I’m so glad it’s back!
We did it, but only with the help of all our supporters. Thank you, everybody!
BIG thank you to all of our supporters!
AFSP Louisville chapter raised over $56,000 for suicide prevention, research and education.
Always reblog. You never know who needs it
You can also go to https://www.imalive.org/ for online 24 hour a day chat with trained professionals who can help you through this. Please call or chat now - I care about YOU!
$1.00 makes a difference.
$1.00 helps professionals reach out to those in need.
$1.00 can save a life
The Out of The Darkness Suicide Prevention walk is this weekend.
My daughter and I are walking in memory of my brother Dennis and all the others who have lost their lives prematurely to suicide.
We are hoping to raise $300. Any support you could give is so appreciated - $1.00 or 1 good thought, I’ll take it!
Click above to donate, learn more about suicide or find a walk near you!
1-800-273-8255 Please call
They can help you find your Hope.
or you can call any of the numbers listed below.
If you are not in the United States PLEASE do a google search in your area for a help line number.
There are people ALL OVER THE WORLD that care about YOU and can help you!
- Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
- Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
- LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
- Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
- Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
- Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
- Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
- Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
- Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
- Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
- NOTE: These are American numbers